Within the changing seasons of life, I think I’m in an autumnal one of body, soul and spirit. My hair has almost lost its golden glints and shaded to silver, although winter-white is yet to come.
It’s an unsettling period where hopes and dreams remain unfulfilled, curl small, wither away.
Life’s hourglass is bottom-heavy and it’s a miracle I’m not as well with all the sitting around I seem to do.
At times like this I can feel left out of the stream of things as life flows swiftly on while I plod and paddle at its edges.
And I’m tempted to feel that God has forgotten about me too.
What happened to the hopes I cherished?
How can I remain content when I’m a shelf-sitting, edge-dwelling invisible woman?
Answers come there none. My dreams seem turned to dust.
When I wish I could be anywhere but here and anyone but me. But I have a Father who wants me to be here, who wants me to be me” ~ Emily Wierenga
But what I do hear (repeatedly this year, this season) is a clear call from the Lord asking me to rest more in Him, reminding me to seek Him first and foremost, requiring me to listen, surrender to the silence and staying still.
Because there is always a purpose in the pain, the hollowing out.
We may feel like last season’s cast off clothes, packed away, usefulness outgrown.
We may want to wave a white (or screaming red) flag to the world, signalling our presence.
We may be discouraged when we desire so many good things which seem to be denied us.
We don’t yet see beauty emerging from the paring away, laying bare, dying back.
I’m trying to let my wounded ego lead me to Jesus ~ Emily Wierenga
Until we turn to the One who made us, who has our best interests at heart, and we find reassurance for our anxious souls.
God reminds us there is always work going on in the background of our lives. Each day we are becoming more defined and refined into the image of Christ.
The work is deep, inner, largely unannounced, continual. We’re always a work In Progress. Not standing still at all.
Being readied for the next big thing. Prepared for a purpose beyond our ability to perceive it as we stretch our faith to receive it.
Maybe this is a season to trust, to wait and anticipate burgeoning new life to come while Love Incarnate is being birthed in and through us.
Love takes time, sunshine, rain, weeding. There’s no hurry in love, only waiting and resting. Like a plant stretching ~ Emily Wierenga
And while we wait? Are we just twiddling our thumbs?
Oh no. There is work in consciously agreeing to rest, in obedient surrender, believing for better and stepping out into new territory when time is ripe.
I hear a call to abide more in God, to rest and pray, listen well, intercede, be an encourager as I help others to birth their dreams. Your call may be very different.
But whatever we sense God leading us to do in these still seasons, maybe we can try to glimpse more of His grace and rest in being His beloved, precious child, yes?
I don’t need to do anything. I don’t need to prove anything, anymore. I don’t need to hear that I’m beautiful or smart or powerful, because Abba’s very presence says I am perfect, accepted, loved, redeemed, cherished, delighted in, and sung over. God wants to spend time with me. That is enough ~ Emily Wierenga
This post was inspired by reading Emily Wierenga’s beautiful new memoir, ‘Making It Home:Finding Peace, Identity and Purpose’. All quotes used above come from this book. I also hope to be writing a review of it soon.
You can download free sample chapters and order the book here. It’s a lovely, inspiring, heart-warming read I can really recommend.