I don’t want to get up. Sunlight slices its way through chinks in the curtains and I still seek to surrender to sleep, long for the rest I urgently need. My body gives a nod to somnolence, even as I know I must surrender to something else.
My man’s medication is due soon. He needs a drink. And these days his mind is tuned more to forgetfulness in those areas than remembrance. I feel my wife-heart tugging stronger in his direction as I help him to manage the mechanics of his illness.
There’s one more thing…before weary feet hit floor I have another ache inside to attend to. There’s a holy surrender at work in me, bending like a tree to Holy Spirit wind. There’s a hungry leaning toward God and a desperate need for His mercy and grace, for the Light only He can shine on my darkest days.
Because I cannot do life without daily surrender to God. I cannot be who I want to be around others, or love them well, unless I let Him love me first.
[bctt tweet=”There’s a holy surrender at work in me, a hungry leaning toward God, a desperate need for His grace”]
We may begin our days without a thought, but pretty soon cares and concerns will creep in and overwhelm. Worry sits heavy on the doorstep of our hearts and anxiety seeks to trip us up at every turn.
Thankfully, there is a remedy for this…
- A daily yielding to God’s goodness and grace
- A moment by moment seeking God’s face
- A continual conversation with Him in prayer
- A lifting of the heart heavenwards for every need
- A lifetime of willing surrender to Him
And as we seek God’s face, He smiles back with tender, infinite love, mercy and grace in His eyes, a readiness to meet our need. Who wouldn’t want to bathe in the Light of God’s healing benediction?
Do not fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praise shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the centre of your life” ~ Philippians 4:6-7 The Message
[bctt tweet=”As we seek God’s face, He smiles back with tender, infinite love, mercy and grace in His eyes” #surrender #FMF “]
I have also surrendered to words sitting within, longing to be shared once more with the wonderful five-minute-friday writing crew gathering at Kate Motaung’s site. There are extra special things happening there today. Do come and join us, take a look and read the great posts on offer.
Dear Joy, Your words fell like balm to my tired soul today. This, I know is so true: “Because I cannot do life without daily surrender to God. I cannot be who I want to be around others, or love them well, unless I let Him love me first.” Oh, how convicting this is, because I know it is so vital, but I lag so slow to actually meet Him there. Thank you for speaking God’s heart through your words. You are much in my prayers, as you care for your husband while carrying such a weighty load yourself. Blessings and Hugs my friend! xo
Dear Bettie, a tired soul is often one in need of some encouragement. I’m so pleased to have been the means of blessing you today, dear friend. You are in my thoughts and prayers as you seek to recoup some strength. Thank you for thinking of us in the midst of your own struggles. I can relate to finding it hard at times to meet with the Lord as much as I need to. Our souls can easily slip into forgetfulness and fail to avail themselves of His nearness. May you sense God’s closeness as you allow yourself to just be tenderly held. Sending much love and gentle hugs your way! xo
Thanks, Tara, I really enjoyed your post, too! Bless you, friend. xo
“I cannot be who I want to be around others, unless I let Him love me first.”
Joy, this is so profound. It’s a choice to allow oneself to be loved; and sometimes a hard choice.
Thank you so much for writing this.
Andrew, your perceptive words reflect the hard task of loving and allowing ourselves to be loved. Life’s events help shape the way we achieve those things but only God can help us to fully replace any negative connotations or conditioning that have harmed our souls and screwed up our ability to love well. Thank you so much for stopping by, my friend. My heart rejoices and is greatly blessed to see you here!
It must be so hard to see your husband failing, Joy. Even more so when your own energy is so limited. And doesn’t your family deal with more illnesses? I looked back in your posts to see if I remembered right that your husband has Parkinson’s. Then I saw you also deal with MS and a kidney disease in your family. I’m so sorry. It’s so hard to watch loved ones suffer.
Your post moved me to tears, especially when I came to this part – “I cannot be who I want to be around others, or love them well, unless I let Him love me first.” It’s so hard sometimes, isn’t it? Oh, how we need those remedies you gave. And the part where you write “And as we seek God’s face, He smiles back with tender, infinite love, mercy and grace in His eyes, a readiness to meet our need.” So, so comforting. Thank you, my friend. Blessings of daily strength and peace to you and your husband! Hugs!
Yes, Trudy, I never imagined we would have such a lot of illness in the family, nor that I would see my husband become so sick himself. He has always been my rock, the strong one I lean on for so many things. His descent into incapacity has added a measure of added, unwanted stress to our days and a closer dependence on God’s daily grace. It has also provided a deeper understanding between us of what it really means to live with constant pain and chronic illness. Your kindness has moved me to tears! Thank you SO much for your friendship, understanding thoughts and faithful prayers. It’s a blessing to be the recipients and we appreciate them tremendously. Blessings and hugs, dear friend! xo ❤
Lord, I know You are with my friend, Joy right this moment, holding her lovingly in Your arms. Give her the strength to serve well. Encourage her with Your presence and let her know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that she is loved. In Jesus name, Amen.
Dear June, I am deeply moved by your beautiful prayer. Yes, I do still struggle to rest in my state of belovedness before God, frequently letting my feelings tell me otherwise. It’s especially so during times when I am extra tired, weary and discouraged by life’s demands. How perceptive of you to see it! Thank you so much for thinking of me and translating those thoughts to prayer here. I appreciate you, my friend. xo